Re:Introduction

Howdy!

The Fantod Pack is a pack of alternative tarot cards created and illustrated by Edward Gorey, whom you may know from his iconic illustrations in an ominous, gothic style. Think classic literature like Dracula or the works of children’s author John Bellairs. Did you know that when someone demanded to know Edward’s sexual orientation, he said “I don’t even know,” and “Well, I’m neither one thing nor the other particularly. I suppose I’m gay. But I don’t really identify with it much.”? Yes, I read his Wikipedia page.

I drew a tarot card from the Fantod Pack today to guide my writing. I want to introduce myself and this blog to you, but I have a hard time doing things that bore me, and talking about myself is boring, so let’s spice it up. Today’s reading…

The Tarot

“If you’re doing nonsense it has to be rather awful, because there’d be no point. I’m trying to think if there’s sunny nonsense. Sunny, funny nonsense for children—oh, how boring, boring, boring. As Schubert said, there is no happy music. And that’s true, there really isn’t. And there’s probably no happy nonsense, either.”

Edward Gorey

I shuffled up the cards, fanned them out on the table, and then looked deep inside my heart. I closed my eyes, and I reached out, and the tarot reached toward me. I drew the card. I opened my eyes and looked out, only to see the darkness still looking back at me. The Tunnel!

According to the accompanying guide book, The Tunnel is grounded in:

How delightful! To be clear, I am not a believer in fate or anything mystical like that. The card I drew was random and in interpreting the card, I am making meaning out of nonsense. That’s not to offend Edward, of course, who adopted the label of “literary nonsense” for his own work (thanks again, Wikipedia).

So… is it bad luck to start this blog, to introduce myself as a science communicator by drawing The Tunnel from the tarot deck? Have I doomed my irrational project? Should I panic? Are you bored? AAAaaaaaAH!

Take a deep breath. Let’s clear our heads. Refocus.

Exercise your perspective-shifting abilities

The Tunnel can have more meanings. We aren’t limited by what’s been said or written. We aren’t limited by our first try or our second try, or someone else’s attempts either. A tunnel is a connection to a different place.

A tunnel can provide direction in uncertainty and fear, an assured way forward even if the way is not yet illuminated. When I think of a tunnel, I think of the act of journeying, moving from one state of being or place to the next, representing change, evolution, growth. Yes, sometimes they’re dark, sometimes they’re scary, but they’re also transformative.

In my own life, I’ve been through many metaphorical tunnels. I transitioned from a very devout member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (Mormons) to a queer atheist, and from a child to a man to my nonbinary self. There was a lot of darkness. I didn’t know if I would die before I reached the other side, and yet navigating these tunnels caused me to grow in ways I simply could not have imagined. If you give yourself the freedom and forgiveness to change your own mind, your limits are literally beyond your own imagination.

What’s with the name?

Speaking of changing one’s mind, my name is T. T. Perry, but please call me Perry or T (said “tee”). Actually, I am perfectly happy being called these things:

• Perry
• T
• T. T.
• T. T. Perry
• Teetles (rhymes with beetles)
• P
• [And only if you put some respect on it] P. P.

What’s with the gender?

Although I was assigned a gender at birth, I changed my mind about that too, which makes me transgender. I’m nonbinary, a they/them, one of those queers, you know? I am sure you have questions about what that means exactly, so if you aren’t aware of all internet traditions, stick around for a future blog post or two! But the introduction must go on.

What’s with the blog?

Right, yes, let’s get on to that.

Hi! Howdy, I’m Perry, and I’m an applied and translational sensory scientist who is passionate about how we hear, how we make sense of the world, and how we communicate. I am especially enthralled by how we understand speech, perceive noise, and process language. My PhD is in Speech-Language-Hearing Sciences from the University of Minnesota where I completed my dissertation research in the Center for Applied and Translational Sensory Science. I will be writing about biomedical science and how debates unfold, escalate, and resolve, and what it means for people who are on the outside looking in.

Oh, and one more big thing to know: I am an advocate for genital autonomy. I argue against imposing nonconsensual gendered genital modifications on children, and for models of healthcare that empower youth to decide what’s best for them when they are ready. My own experiences with forced circumcision and then, later, foreskin restoration opened a path to understanding and championing gender rights and bodily autonomy for all, including reproductive rights to abortion and family planning healthcare.

I believe in the power of shared human experiences, in the incredible, universal weight of emotion. I’m several years sober after many more years of struggling with alcoholism and post-traumatic stress disorder, and I’ve learned that recovery from addiction and relief from pain comes from connection and community, from feelings.

“Let’s not forget that the little emotions are the great captains of our lives, and we obey them without realizing it.”

Vincent van Gogh

In my blog, I want to ask: what if we pay attention to these great captains, these little emotions, and make some scientific sense out of nonsense. Isn’t making sense out of nonsense what life is all about? Edward Gorey would approve, I think.

A beginning, not the end

Thanks for sticking around while I blabbed about myself. If you’d like to, bookmark my website and check back in weekly for exciting new posts, delivered once a week to help you make sense of scientific debates, hear the latest about queer life, and exercise your cross-contextual thinking skills. If you’d like to leave a comment, too bad! There’s no comment section here.

Comments

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